SATC

Sex and the .....Crap I still hate this movie.

I was quiet about this when the movie hit the theaters because I was weeks away from having a baby and I couldn't be bothered. Unless someone asked me, and then I would tell you, I thought it was crap.

Spoiler alert: If you haven't seen the movie and think you might, look away and go about your business.

Still here? CRAP! I can't believe I held out this long.

At first I thought just the happy ending was bullshit. Really. Did anyone watch the series? Did everyone forget what that guy did to her over the span of ten years? Anyone? Just me? Apparently so.

But wait. Forget the end, let's start with the beginning: Message: You must be married. Or else you are unhappy and unfulfilled.

Hang on, I'm just getting started.

Charlotte: Clearly had a labotomy. She didn't have one intelligent line in the whole flick. She just acted like a fifteen year old pollyana. How many times did she scream in this movie? AAIIAAAHHHH!

Carrie: Yeah. We all wear pearls to bed. Whatever.

Miranda: Nice earings.

Samantha: Why would she dump Smith? WHY?

Product placement? Shameless.

Dialouge: Weak "We get it. You like to color."

Then there was the middle: Message: Friends are everything. Unless they make one off hand comment to your fiancee that makes him question your ten year relationship and chicken out of your very big, very well publicized wedding. Then you are already-chewed gum stuck to the bottom of a Jimmy Choo. LAME.

Back to the end: It's totally the right move to marry someone who left you at the alter because, you know, you love him.

And throw in a baby, because you know, every woman should have a baby. Isn't that what they are for? Oh, no, they are also here to plug Vivienne Westwood. I forgot.

I am not a hater. I loved the series, I really did. Because it was real. Because these women had depth. They had good fortune and bad breakups and hot sex and not-hot sex and they worked it all out at the diner, not some fancy-shmancy hot spot in a dress. With a belt.

I forgot the belts. Who can even afford one of those belts? Come on.

I'm sorry, I really tried. Watching back on cable was more painful than sitting in the theater. I hear a sequel is in the works. What was that about not wanting to stay at the party too long? I guess those Manolo's aren't cheap.

But if Carrie has a marital crisis and then a reconcilliation and then a baby at age 43 without reproductive assistance? I'm totally done.

Comments

[Kimberly]

I hated it too. I loved the series and was so excited to see the film when it came out, but I left the theater trying to figure out what all the hype was about.

The humor was also ridiculously juvenile at times. Charlotte pooping her pants in Mexico?? Come on.

[Leighann]

I just watched the movie a couple of weeks ago and I totally agree with what you said. I thought it was a bit fluffy.

And there is no way that they would have ended up together in the original series.

I don't know if I can stomach the sequel. Though I'll probably check it out from the library for free.