And I only know this much

Is anyone following the story of the Polygamist ranch in Texas? Of the women who are starting to gain some publicity and attention?

Granted, it takes very little to make me cry on a normal day, when I'm not gestating. While pregnant it's a constant free for all, bursting into tears without warning over very minor offenses. But this, this is almost too much to handle, yet I feel like I can't look away. And I'm not just talking about the dresses and the wild, wavy, wacky hairstyles, although, that does involve some study.

It's those children. Hundreds of children. 

How does it feel if your seven year old child is in a shelter with the chicken pox and you can't be there to hold their hand. To whisper a sweet good night, to arrange the blanket just so?

To say I don't understand this lifestyle is an understatement. I am not religous, rural or young and I think two people in a marriage is quite enough thank you very much. I also think if you want to get married you should have to wait until you are 30. My husband and I don't even have a joint checking account, much less joint spouses or rules about how one conducts themselves. 

I don't know what went on there besides the obvious and that some of these mothers allowed very young daughters to be married off to very confused men, and for that, I question their judgment. From the outside, it's obvious. That's clearly the wrong choice. But for them, they must have believed they were doing the right thing for those girls. Isn't that what we all do as mothers, as parents, every day? Try and make the best decisions we can with the knowledge we have? I feel sorry for them, their grief is as plain as their face.

I agree the thirteen year old girls should be removed from the fifty year old husbands. Maybe it's worse than that, I don't know. Maybe there is compelling evidence that says these mothers need to be immediately separated from those kids. I just don't know how anyone could know that today, given the circumstances. There clearly is not a handbook to follow to deal with a situation like this. Until authorities know more, gather more, learn more about what happened, I wish those mothers could be with their children. I read that only women without children and those with babes under five were able to go back to their homes. What of the eight year olds? Experiencing the most amazing mind altering culture shock they could have ever dreamed of. Without the lifeline that they have always known.

I understand there are laws and processes to follow when a child has been abused. Law enforcement is doing their job. But the media will grow weary of this, the spotlights will fade and then what will become of them? Where will they go? Let's say half of these kids wind up in foster care or placed elsewhere. Hopefully if they are young enough they will adapt.  But their mothers. Do you think they will ever get over it? Losing a family? The conflict of being told every minute of every day that the life you lived was wrong. What you believed in, twisted. Reconciling a life, before and after.   

So much heartbreak. Past, present and future.

I'm not religious, but this is so troubling that I am tempted to say I'd like to offer up a prayer of some kind to someone about this. To ease this burden.

But it sounds like maybe that's what got them into trouble in the first place.

Comments

[Amanda]

Every day there is another incomprehensible scenario. I ache for the children and the mothers, though frustration swirls below as I grapple with such an altered reality.

[Bon]

it's hard to see below the spectacle...and hard not to question the judgement of the mothers, yes. but still. hard too, and wrong i think, not to put ourselves in their shoes and imagine how overwhelmed they must be right now, how afraid for their children out in this world some of them have never even known.

i hope they are treated with dignity and gentleness. i doubt we will rise to that, as a society, but i do hope it.

[Kimberly]

The whole situation is troubling on so many levels. I have a really hard time trying to figure out how these mothers can possibly allow their teenage girls to get married to much older men, and yet the pain they are feeling right now is so obvious. I don't know what the right solution is in this situation, but I hope that someone makes sure these families are treated with dignity and that the emotional damage from the situation is kept to a minimum on all ends.

[Hazel]

Watching the women on the Today show reminded me of The Stepford Wives. They are obviously brainwashed and none of them showed any emotion. They just kept repeating the same inane comments over and over, which made no sense. I have since seen one news report that showed one of them crying, although it looked forced.

The children were removed from the mothers because of the "code of silence" enforced by the mothers. The children were not going to give any information to the authorities with the mothers standing over them. The children have also been brainwashed. If they hope to have any kind of normal life, they will be better off in foster care or with adoptive families.

No mother in her right mind would allow her thirteen year old daughter (or younger) to be sexually active, much less with a 40 or 50 year old man. That is gross and disgusting and is the epitomy of child abuse from the mother as well as the man.

I don't feel empathy or sorrow for the mothers, but I certainly do for the children. I'm sure they are very confused and scared. And, I believe they are being treated well by the State and there are professionals there who are helping them now.

It is a very sad situation and these adults brought it upon themselves. All in the name of religion in their warped minds.

[Sue]

Amy, I couldn't agree with you more. Of course the teen marriage thing is wrong. And there absolutely should be action taken to prevent that. But how does the government have the right to traumatize all those children???? Most of whom don't even have an abusive situation in their family. I feel for the mothers and my heart breaks for the children - it's outrageous.