The blog girls are throwing a virtual baby shower today. Three of the awesome-st ladies in the blogosphere – Liz of Mom-101, Christina of A Mommy Story, and Tammie of Soul Gardening are just about ready to burst (and may have already burst-ed), and need some showering.
In honor of these lovies and the clever and most thoughtful other lovies who birthed such a happy event, I'm here with my best ass-vice and real true advice that I remind myself of almost daily, plus my own two cents for the record:
I was struck by reading Tammie's post yesterday, U Turn. Struck cold by it. I never planned for a natural home birth or a natural birth of any kind but after 22 hours of labor, inducing drugs, an epidural and a baby stuck in my pelvis, I was lambasted and wheeled into the operating room faster than you can say "Shave her". I understood deep in my core the apprehension that Tammie was feeling. When your heart is talking to your mind and tuning out all reason in between, repeating only; 'this is not the way this is supposed to be.' It's natural and it's understandable and it feels SO BIG at the time it's happening. Rightfully so. But what you don't know is that three months from now you will be so deep in baby life that this moment will be a blur. Six months from now, you'll remember but it won't be painful. A year from now you will be eating cake from a one-year old's hair and it will be the last thing on your mind. Relax.
Best Real Advice: I attended birthing classes at my hospital. On point, I went much earlier than I needed to because, hello, birthing? I needed to know EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY FIND OUT because, oh my god, what if I went into labor two weeks early and I hadn't finished the classes?! Can you still give birth if you haven't completed them? What would I do?? (Sidenote: I was 41 weeks and they didn't really help anyway.) Even though I had forgotten everything I had learned by the time the big day rolled around, I did remember what my awesome nurse instructor told us: No dilatation without relaxation. She drilled it into my head. I let my labor nurse talk me into an epidural when I got stuck at three centimeters. I got the needle, took a little nap and jumped to seven. She was right. Relax.
Best Ass vice: I'm sure there are more ridiculous pieces of ass vice out there but I have to turn to my favorite stand-by. Breastfeeding problems, oh yeah. Picky toddler, that's an understatement. I've been served up the old stand by "He'll eat when he's hungry" so many times I could puke. My mother, co-workers, his pediatrician. Mostly it made me angry. They didn't know my child like I knew him. I was his mother and surely there must be something I hadn't tried; Some trick I didn't know about it. I had angst! I worried! I stressed! Turns out they were all right. He will eat when he's hungry and it won't likely be a healthy sample from each of the food groups. Right now he's got a nasty fever and all he's eaten for two days is ice cream bars. One day not that long ago that would have made me crazy. What about nutrients? What about fiber? He needs protein people! When he wakes up I'm going to feed him another. Because it's all he wants and a fever of 102 trumps all rules of negotiation. Worrying about carbohydrates is for another day.
Deep breaths, Mamas.