Let me tell you a little something about myself: I'm a lousy poker player. All my life, I've never been afforded the luxury of hiding my emotions. Times when I really needed to keep my emotions in check - a job interview, talking to a guy I was attracted to, having to give a speech or perform on stage - my feelings were broadcast all over my face. Or rather, all over my face, neck, and upper chest.
My skin tone is that sort of pale that makes it impossible to find make-up. Ivory was sometimes too dark for me. But while some people have fair skin with a yellow undertone, mine is red. Which means that any emotion shows up as either a flaming red that spreads across my face, or in warm or nervous situations, a blotchy red that covers my neck and chest.
You can imagine how this has worked against me. In junior high and high school, the other kids caught on to my chameleon skin quickly and found new and creative ways to torture me. The other girls could easily find out which boy I thought was cute just by running a list of names past me. Guys would grill me with intimate questions just to watch how fast the crimson appeared.
Once at a job interview, a recruiter stopped the interview to ask me if I was feeling OK. Thanks to my blotchy skin showing through my v-neck top, she was worried that I was having an allergic reaction to something in the room, and asked if I needed to leave. I had to assure her that it was a normal thing, and I was fine to continue.
I've tried to take a deep breath, not let things get to me, and mentally control my ruddy physical response, with limited results. Age has helped some, although I have been known to attract a crowd of "helpful" people around me if I'm at a gym, expecting me to collapse at any moment based on the maroon color of my face. (Seriously, people, I'm fine.) In some ways, having a red face has been beneficial. For one, it keeps me honest. It's hard to lie when you know someone who looks carefully could spot the lie by my color change.
So if you happen to meet me and notice my face is red or splotchy, don't worry. It means that either I think highly enough of you to be really nervous meeting you, I'm feeling warm, or you're a guy and I think you're totally hot.
Please welcome Christina. She can normally be found at her blog, A Mommy Story, where she shares tales of her tempestuous toddler, Cordy, musings on motherhood, and complaints about the pains of being pregnant again. (No worries, she really does want to be pregnant again.) If you're looking for me, you can find me at A Mommy Story today.
This post is part of the monthly Blog Exchange on the prompt Red/Green.To read the other participants, click here, where you can also find out how to participate in next month's Exchange.